Scope creep in contracting jobs

Yesterday we met with the contractor and the plumber who wanted to survey the job before beginning sometime in the next century.

After answering some of his questions and poking about we asked them some 'wouldn't it be nice' questions, and this is where the problems begin.

Controlling costs of a kitchen upgrade is a problem. If you hear or think any of the following run the other way:
a) It's only a small change
b) Since you're doing this anyway
c) I didn't think about that
d) What's another few dollars
e) Hey that's a good idea
f) Can you estimate this

All of these are trouble and should be avoided to control the costs. That being said, the first two items have already hit the bricks - The bay window and an external gas line.

Under the "can you estimate this" category is the bay window.I hate this thing, it leaks air all winter and since I have 2 other windows (really good windows - only a year old) that we are not going to use I thought put one of these there.

My wife will have none of it, she wants a bay window. So, right now we're estimating the cost of fixing the existing one.

The other item is admittedly mine, the external gas line. This one falls under the "since you're doing this anyway" category. All the gas pipes are moving and the deck is right off the kitchen, so logically why not have an external gas line for the BBQ put in since the whole wall will be open anyway.

We will be getting cost estimates on both.

Why does a kitchen cost so much.

I don't know why a kitchen costs so much.

You get yourself a drink, make a sandwich that's pretty much it. Apparently though it costs a lot for the mayo.

But seriously, I was as crazed as you for the cost of getting a kitchen done. The first time I heard the 80 grand number I though they were kidding. Then I thought they thought I was a sucker and promptly walked out the door. But then I did some research. I started pricing things out with different people and places and the number from the high end place I walked out of was eerily similar to Home Depot, Lowe's and the contractors we spoke to.

I was stuck. But for you appreciation I'll break it down a bit in cost order.
I'll also revise this as time goes on:

Labor & General Supplies: $40,000
There's no getting around it, its expensive to have people rip up your walls, put new ones in and move plumbing around. This is also where a large part of the differential is for replacing in place and moving the kitchen layout around.

This also however includes general supplies such as 2x4s, wallboard, tape & joint compound, plywood, grout and mud for the floors and piping stuff.

Counter tops: $15,000ish (still unknown)
Depending on what materials we use, this can increase the cost of the job. Stone or a composite materials are our choices.

Appliances: $15,000ish (still unknown)
There are a host of appliances including a stove, double oven, microwave, two dishwashers (it's a kosher kitchen), small drink fridge (my only part of the kitchen), 2 sinks, and 2 garbage disposals.

Cabinets: $17,000
Cabinets are where we saved a bit of money. While 17k is a lot, we also have a very big space. Kitchenscapes which does semi-custom cabinets was a great find. Because they are semi-custom (not true custom) it can be mass produced at a good quality. (Not the 80's crap that is in all the kitchens today).

Windows $5,000ish (maybe less)
Its unclear if the new windows and skylight is included in the cost especially the Pella windows my wife wants and not the Anderson windows the contractor wants to put in.

Floor Tile: $5,000
Not included in the general supplies. We have yet to pick it out.

Fixtures: $1000
Also not included are fixtures for sinks and knobs for drawers.

Grand Total: $98,000.00